After a magical, Disney-like break, it’s hi-diddely-ho and back to work we go

Today I was woken up to an incredibly lovely text message from himself, addressing me as the ‘wife-to-be’. Joy!

I must say, it does keep me going here knowing there’ll be some kinda mega party/wedding at some stage to look forward to. Anyway, I’m back into diary mode and want to map out where my head is at these days. It seems like it might be easier to do this with illustrations. So here goes.

After a whirlwind visit home (literally trekked around the country to catch up with as many loved ones as possible) I’m settling back to PhD land and determined to get some actual work done. While at home I did the usual: fun-filled picnics galore, knacker drinking in the park, caught a gig or two, plus unusually (for me) climbed a stunningly beautiful hillock or two. [Here’s the proof incase you don’t believe me.]

I caught up with a dear friend for a mere 24-hours, and we road-tripped to the beach. Check out the Irish Sea from here! (She is the dot in the water. Crazy fool, it was about 6 degrees).

And I got to hug all of my family, most of my soon-to-be family and my BFF’s, as well as being phone and Internet free for a week so really, it was a pretty great holiday.

As with all good things, my sojourn home came to an end far too quickly and I spent the last day of my holiday sulking and feeling sorry for myself. Quite a wasted feeling but it seems to be the way it goes. I remember a seminar I had as a MA student where we sat around a table with the score for Handel‘s opera Giulio Cesare. There’s an aria ‘Son nata a lagrimar’ that we looked at in some detail where a mother and son sing what has to be one of the most achingly beautiful pieces ever written. I remember the lecturer trying to explain his reading of the duet. He likened it to saying goodbye to a loved one at a train station and feeling wretched because you were missing that person even before they’d gone. At the time I had no idea what he was on about. Now, it is just plain annoying wasting precious times feeling sad about missing someone when they are still in your presence.
Anyway, have a listen and see what you think. Does your heart plummet as much as mine when the two voices intertwine?

But not to put a dampener on things. I really had a kick-ass time at home and it was just the kick-up-the-behind I needed to get me into work mode. Got my first proper conference paper to write (more on this later), a public engagement talk to give, my first London conference to attend, and a four-year anniversary/one-year engagement anniversary to celebrate all in the next four weeks. YAYY!!

So I will love you and leave you with a sunset over Kildare as viewed from one of the many bus trips I took during the Easter holidays. Despite all the misery guts, recession speak, and general depressive air that blows around the country, you could be in far worse places than Ireland (when the sun is shining)…

xx mkl


“make sure you don’t forget me…” pop music, memory, and becoming a grown-up

grow up

So I was helping out for a lovely event yesterday in one of the fine museums here that was all about music, memory, and the things we collect & keep throughout our lives. It started (too) early in the morning with an active retirement group who brought in objects they have kept over the years to do with music, ranging from an array of 7″s and LP’s, to birthday cards signed by Tony Bennett, Al Jolson wrist-watches, and wonderful stories of pianos being brought outside for sing-song street parties after the war. I really loved the morning group. The facilitators had to bring along objects too, and so I brought the only music related item (non-CD/vinyl) that I have moved over here – a little notebook that had found its way here by being stuck between some academic rabble.

Inside the notebook was all the songs I’ve ever written, from unused lyrics, to unheard melodies, some hastily scribbled letters & numbers on the back of envelopes, clothes-tags, stickers… It has become a kind of silenced diary, filled with sounds that are yearning to be made out loud but that will probably never happen. But then there are a few songs that have been heard, and heard in some strange places. I haven’t listened to or heard these songs in such a long time, and yesterday got me thinking about why that might be. The lyrics for one song were written on a payslip for a job I had many moons ago, complete with my name and my national insurance number, but what is even stranger about this is that it’s not my handwriting. And so I’m instantly transported & can suddenly remember exactly where I was, the time of day, who was there, how it was written…

Then there’s the fact that the actual date of writing is printed and documented on the payslip – May 18th, near four years ago. It feels like a lifetime ago now. Little did I know then, that sunny afternoon sitting in the back yard, that days like that were oh so very rare. And even rarer still, that a chance date later that night would result in the kind of first kiss fairy tales are made of, leading to a hiatus in South-East Asia sometime later, developing a terribly sweet-tooth, and a marriage proposal (of sorts)…

All this change in only four little years.

So anyway. Here’s some of the words from one of the songs that I revisited from yesterday. Funny how lyrics can carry such different meaning with even a little bit of distance. Originally called ‘Paul Simon (I Love You)’, it was decided that we all felt more love for Chevy Chase instead. If you want to, you can hear the song here.

You say what you want to always… 

This is our one and only chance to make something out of ourselves

But still we’re trying to pretend that this was worth it in the end

As the sound of my voice rings in your ears make sure you don’t forget me

This is all I ever want for you

This is all I have ’til you refuse

Everything that once went through my head

The letters that you wrote…. we will…

This is all I know to make this true, this is what you said you understood

Things like this they happen all the time so let’s just do our best

To move on

mkl xx

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